Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Can We Just Be Friends?

I haven't done a "feelings" post for a while, so hold on to your hat, grab some coffee, and try to take it all in.

The past few weeks... months... there has been a lot of disagreement on what is best for the world in which we live. We all form opinions and hold fast to what we believe. That's a great quality, but you gotta keep it in check so it doesn't divide what you are trying to unite. I don't know about you, but I could use more people to call friends. I don't think we have a limit on that.

I remember a time when the girl was about 4 or 5 and we went to the play place at a local business. She didn't go with a friend. She was on her own. I didn't really have the desire to crawl up into a giant twisty turny entrapment, so she had to figure it out. I have to say, I was always a little apprehensive about her being by herself, but not after this one particular day. We had been there for 5 minutes or so and she noticed another little girl playing alone. She asked if it would be okay to go talk to her. Of course, I said. She walked over and said "Hi! My name is ___. Do you want to be my friend? My favorite color is pink." I was so glad it went well and the other child replied "Yes. I'll be your friend. My favorite color is pink, too!" And off they went. They played for hours. Her mom and I talked about how easy it was for the two of them to be friends and find something in common. Sharing a favorite color was enough.

Fast forward 10 years and something has happened along the way. It's much more difficult for that 14 year old to start a new friendship, than it was when she was 4. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. You do need to be careful who you are friends with. No one wants to have to answer questions from the police about their whereabouts and relationship with a certain person... but, those cases are very far and few in between... so we can't really use that as an excuse too often.

As adults, we make it even more difficult. But, I ask you this. Does it need to be? Are we so set in our ways and so quick to judge and critique that we are refusing to be friends with people that don't share each of our values? Are we really willing to have less people we consider friends just because we don't see eye to eye on everything? Are we so rigid that we can't carry on a conversation with someone that has different views on the world?

I'm preaching to myself here... I'm so guilty.When people ask me if I have a lot of friends, I say "No, Not really. I have a lot of acquaintances and people I work with, but I don't have many I consider true friends." I limit the number of connections I have on Facebook, because I don't really want everyone under the sun seeing into my life. I keep most people at a distance where it's comfortable for me and rarely share a lot about my personal life. We'll say I have trust issues.

Something happened, though, a month or so ago. I was out to dinner with a couple friends and we were talking about life. My friend was sharing some things she was going through and the whole time I sat there thinking "wow... I'm not alone". I just smiled and when she had finished I said "I'm just really glad to know that I'm not the only one dealing with this type of issue!" And it hit me... THAT is what it's about. Friends are there with the purpose to help you through life. We share laughs. We share tears. We share frustrations. We share life. We let one another know we are not alone. Someone is in our corner and can relate or at least empathize with what we're going through.

I encourage you to truly evaluate yourself and simplify your friend making process before it's too late. Think about the simple things that make you YOU...

Hi. My name is Lora. I like crafts. I like baking. I love my family. Can we be friends?

4 comments :

  1. This is so perfect right now. I just had a conversation with a co- worker about why I don't want to attend staff holiday parties. It enjoy my work and tolerate my co works as just acquaintances. Not people I want to spend my free time with. I do have close friends but they are my scout sisters. Much rather spend my free time with them. No more pressure or guilt when I say no to work socials.

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    1. I totally get that. I have started doing TimeOut Tuesday with a group of friends of whoever can show up... It works as my husband is playing pool and the girl is at her mom's. We've had a lot of fun. :)

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  2. I like baking and love my family, yes, we can be friends :) What a lovely post. I'm sure many others will be able to identify with it. It is hard to make friends as we get older, partly because we become more close minded and pickier. Thanks for this!

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    1. Awesome! Thanks, new friend! I think there is a song about that... make new friends... yeah... pretty sure that is a "thing". :)

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Thanks!!